


I'll Have the Scholar With a Side of Surprise

by NecroKnockout



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, F/M, Fluff, Humor, M/M, My personal brand of stupidity, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 04:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20988923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NecroKnockout/pseuds/NecroKnockout
Summary: Byleth and Linhardt get an invitation for a double date with Edelgard and Hubert. However, it seems there's a topic Byleth and Linhardt find a bit more intresting than the Empire Affairs.Smut warning, it says it in the tags but sometimes reading tags ain't peoples thing. I get it, you're a busy person. Life going too quick so you gotta go faster. (No lewd Hubert×Edelgard, sorry if ya came for that.)





	I'll Have the Scholar With a Side of Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic is a dick fic, what a shocker.

If was a tuesday night, Edelgard had invited Byleth and Linhardt on a double date with her and Hubert. She said she wanted to catch up a bit since everyone was so busy in their own sections of the Empire, they didn't have much time to talk. Byleth accepted the invitation and informed Linhardt of it as he entered his crest study "A double date? Sounds a bit cheesy but you already said yes, so I guess we have to go. If we don't Edelgard won't let us hear the end of it." He chuckles. "Though, I wouldn't mind seeing you in a suit again." He smiles as he finishes, thinking of their wedding night.

Byleth nods, reminiscing on how Linhardt looked as well. Chuckling to himself when he remembered the pout Linhardt wore when he was told they had to dance as of tradition. He stepped on Byleth's feet several times, but Byleth didn't flinch once to avoid embarrassing his partner. Linhardt glanced at him with a similar pout to that day "I told you, I could dance in theory. I never said I was  _ good _ at it." Byleth shakes his head with a smile in return, knowing full well the scholar has researched him to the point he can practically read his mind. Many found their one sided conversations weird but the two just had their own unique way of communicating.

Putting away his research papers rather sloppily, Linhardt gets up from his desk and takes Byleth's hand as they leave the study. The two soon arriving at their shared bedroom, pulling out their suits as Linhardt asks where they're going to have dinner and what time. He nods at Byleth's response and takes a mental note of it as he finishes his tie. He glances over to see Byleth having a little trouble with his tie, with a chuckle he walks over to him and fixes it for him.

Before Linhardt can walk away, Byleth unable to resist seeing his partner in a suit once more, grabs his tie and pulled him close for a quick kiss. Linhardt blushing, returns it with a smile. "Don't get too handsy. We have a double date to go to, remember?" Byleth pouts and nods as he releases Linhardt's tie, a little disappointed but understood it wasn't exactly the time.

The two soon exit their home hand in hand, it was a cabin far from civilization near a large lake in a forest. Linhardt wasn't one for the loud life of cities or towns, rather wanting a quiet place to be with Byleth; away from the stress of work. It suited them well, quiet mornings and cricket filled nights by the fireplace. It was a paradise for two quiet souls like themselves.

Byleth shutting the door behind them as he releases Linhardt's hand to lock. While he locks it Linhardt, walks out the horse they were given by the monastery some time ago for promoting to a dark knight. However picking up the saddle to place on the horse was Byleth's job. Linhardt had an F in brawling meaning physical strength wasn't his strong point.

As soon as the saddle was in place, Byleth hopped on and locked hands with Linhardt once more to pull him up. Linhardt sitting behind him and wrapping his arms around them. Despite Linhardt being the one who promoted to a dark knight, he preferred Byleth lead the horse. Leading was too much effort and in the back he got to feel up Byleth's abs as they rode off.

As they rode there they sat silently, Linhardt occasionally looking to the side to watch the sun go down as they approached their location. Soon falling asleep not before reminding Byleth of the location. As they arrive Linhardt woken up gently by his husband placing a kiss on his forehead. A yawn escapes him as he smiles in return, glancing at the restaurant "Yup…*yawn* this is the place." He sluggishly gets off the steed with Byleth's help as without it he would most likely fall in his freshly awoken state. Steed now tied firmly in place at a watering trough to prevent theft and keep them hydrated they enter the restaurant, hand in hand.

As they enter a bell rings and eyes are on them, a waiter is called over to guide them to their table where Edelgard and Hubert sat conversing of all things, Politics. Linhardt mentally groaned hearing it, sensing the distress Byleth gave his hand a squeeze and Linhardt squeezed back as a thank you. Hubert mid sentence raises his head to take notice of the new arrivals. "Ah, Linhardt and Byleth. I hope no beasts attack you on your way here. That would be dreadful." A smile spread across his face as he chuckles at his own joke.

Edelgard glares at him "Hubert be nice!" Shifting her attention back to the couple "Sorry, you know how he is. It's so good to see you two outside of meetings." she shakes the twos open hands with a smile. As the two sit down Linhardt mumbles to Byleth "yes, because you weren't just talking about work on a date." Byleth gives a small chuckle. Edelgard unaware of the joke gives a glare "Is it wrong to discuss political affairs? I'm taking my job very seriously. You should too, Linhardt."

Linhardt simply huffs and looks the other way, Byleth cutting in with another subject to break the ice as he gives Linhardt another squeeze. Byleth tries to turn it to fishing as he knows Linhardt would have plenty to talk about and Crest weren't something to be spoken lightly of around Edelgard, but Edelgard said she wasn't interested in the topic and kept shifting it to political talk. Linhardt was dying, he was going to fall asleep before they even got to order. So Byleth tried something risky and removed his held hand to place it somewhere… _ special _ .

Linhardt woke up in meer seconds and turned towards Byleth with a slight blush. While Edelgard was busy explaining the use of the Hevring house, Hubert took notice of the two's interaction. But before he could speak he was cut off.

Linhardt interrupting Edelgard "You know...there's an experiment I've been wanting to try and this is the perfect place for it." Wearing his usual blank expression, Byleth following suit. Edelgard caught off guard by Linhardt's sudden topic change "Oh what is-" before she could finish Byleth stood up and excused the both of them, Linhardt following and grabbing his husbands hand as they began to walk off.

Edelgard curious of what's going on tries to intervene "but the appetizers aren't here yet." Linhardt quick to the draw for once, waves off Edelgard "It may take a while, just order for us." As he the two walk away from the table.

Turning to Hubert, fiddling with her fingers slightly "They're probably just going to the bathroom, they do get pretty busy after-" "They walked past the bathroom." Hubert interrupted. Edelgard now concerned "They're not leaving, they're not that ru-" "They just walked into the owners office." Hubert cuts off again as he points towards the door labeled "Private".

Edelgard now even more concerned and in denial "S-something must of been wrong with the food." Hubert turns towards her wearing his usual expression "We haven't even ordered yet and they were smiling." He and Edelgard soon turned to face the center of the table again. Edelgard trying to process what is going on and Hubert waiting patiently.

"Thank Sothis you did that. Though, I welcome any kind of napping, I'd rather not wake up to an earful from Edelgard." Linhardt smiles as Byleth walks him to the bathroom only to be pulled away by Linhardt taking him to the room marked "Private". "We are  _ not _ going to do it there. Much too disgusting. Plus if this is a fancy restaurant and we are part of the Empire...we should get the luxury suite, don't you think?" He gives a flirtatious wink towards Byleth. Byleth responding with a massive blush and grin as he nods excitedly.

Linhardt opens the door and pulls his husband in, shutting it as Byleth quickly got down to business. As soon as the door shut, Byleth was on him. Nibbling his neck as he pulled him behind the desk. Kicking the chair aside and slamming the scholar on to said desk. He whispered sweet nothings into Linhardt's ear about how good he tastes as he went from nibbles to full on bites and licks. Linhardt was already getting excited. As he was being snacked upon he snaked his hands down to his belt and tried his best to undo it. They had only just began and he already wanted more.

Byleth noticing this, slips a finger in under his belted pants and teasing his ass with light feathery circles at it's entrance, dipping in ever so gently every few swirls. Linhardt bucked, when the finger went slightly further. Byleth still biting at his neck as he plunged it deeper, whispering about how cute his little wimpers sound. Using his other hand Byleth grips at his hair and tugs earning a moan.

Desire ran throughout Linhardt, over his own moans he could just barely hear the sounds of clinking plates outside the door. The low voices, the idea of being caught, it stirred up more feelings than he could imagine. Fear and excitement combined into one as his moans increased at a sudden tug of the hair. But this wasn't enough, he needed more.

Linhardt, trying to stay quiet as not to alert other patrons gives a raspy plead "Byleth...I need more...I need-" as he spoke Byleth added 2 more fingers without warning "YOUR COCK, I nEed y-yoUR-" he could barely control his words now, Byleth turns Linhardt's head towards his own and slips his tongue between his soft gasping lips. Linhardt's mouth closes into a pucker to return the gesture. As their lips part Byleth pulls at Linhardt's bottom lip with his teeth before releasing it. Byleth whispers the words "You're a mage...you should know the magic words~"

Linhardt eyes shot open by Byleth adding a 4th finger as he spoke spills incoherent nonsense before he finally manages to say "pLEAsE, I NEed I neED IT, I neeD YOUr cOcK, PLEASE." As he finished speaking Byleth gave him one last kiss on the forehead as he got up and unbuttoned his pants and finally undid Linhardt's belt.

Linhardt felt his pants hit the floor and a slight breeze before soon feeling a large log lay atop his ass. Still heaving with lust, he can do nothing but wiggle his ass and spread his legs in anticipation. He could feel it rub at his entrance teasingly. Byleth marveled as such slight movements made his husband so vulnerable and excited. He glanced down to see Linhardts own member solid with glistening precum at its end. He really was gorgeous in so many ways.

Byleth was ripped from his thoughts as Linhardt put one of his hands on his ass and spread it open, his other hand used as leverage so he could turn towards his lover. "Are you going to just stare at it or fuck it? They won't wait all day, you know." A coy look on his face, as his eyes sat half lidded waiting for an answer. Byleth blushed slightly and nodded like a scolded child, but quickly returned to his more lustful instincts.

Grabbing Linhardt's cock and slathering the precum on his hand, he dips it into Linhardt's ass to use as lube. The sensation alone causing Linhardt to shiver and buck small whimpers can be heard as his grip on his ass tightens. Once it's nice and wet, Byleth lifts his own cock. Precum still sitting on his hand and between his fingers giving a cold sensation that causes him to shiver as he grips it. Sliding it in ever so gently both moan at the sensation. Byleth through gritted teeth and Linhardt starting to drool slightly.

Byleth lies his hands on Linhardt waste gently, gliding his dull nails across his soft pale skin earning shivers of pleasure between his whimpers. So soft, so vulnerable, so hungry. Once Linhardt goes silent in comfort, Byleth grips his waist tightly earning a squeak of pleasure as he increases his gentle pace.

Each time Byleth's balls slap against Linhardt another wave of arousal is born. Lins grip tightens with every movement, to the point he thinks he may break the desk. Byleth not holding out much better, with every move making him hungrier as a predatory lust soon takes over him. His hands gripped to Linhardt's hips pulling him closer as his nails point inward, hearing Linhardt moan happily in response.

Linhardt soon lets his tongue roll out as drool now begins to slip out in large drops, he begins to fantasize how Byleth tastes. Lust overtaking him. He wants more, he NEEDS more. He tries to remove his hand from the desk to finger his own mouth to simulate the feeling he desires, but to no avail. His grip on the desk does not break, he's at Byleth's wim entirely. All he can hope for is Byleth sensing what he lusts.

As they fucked they could hear the wabbly leg of the desk begin to creak and the contents in the desk shake with thrill of their current customers. Linhardts panting filling most of the air as his tongue flops with every movement. The desks cabinets painted in the precum that splashes forward with every pound. As the floor before the desk drops of drool fall to the floor with an arousing slap sound that sends chills throughout Byleth.

Byleth, unwilling to halt his pace. His nails may soon break skin with how tight a grip he has. In the mist, they heard a click, Byleth didn't stop. He was too far to stop now. The door opens revealing a waiter, their face immediately going red at the sight they see. As soon as Byleth saw them he rammed HARD causing Linhardt to shout near incoherently "AAAAOOO OCCUPIED!" Byleth quickly following up with a rough grunt "HE SAID SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR." 

Before he could finish the waiter shut the door and they were back in their own world. Both of them were red faced but refused to quit, not now. Not when Byleth was so close. Byleth could see out of the corner of his eye Linhardt's member twitching with arousal. He was close too. Linhardt's moans and small yes here and there getting louder was just more evidence.

Their pace grew faster and faster. Linhardt's serenades of pleasure fill the room, his tongue salivating at the feelings and thoughts of the taste of Byleth's member. Planning his move to get a taste as the door suddenly creaks open. On the other side sits Hubert. Byleth's grip suddenly tightens as he moves one hand to Linhardt's tie and pulls him close. His body crouches down, staring Hubert in the eyes.

**\--------Rewind time----------**

Minutes of silence passed, as a now impatient Edelgard taps her fingers against the table. Hubert pulls over a waiter "Would you mind checking your owner's office? Our…*ehem* two customers went in there." The waiter nods and leaves towards the office.

Edelgard turns towards Hubert with a grimace "What are you doing?" Hubert smiles in response "Just checking."

Hubert watches as the Waiter opens the door, Edelgard tries to hide the fact she's watching. The door ope-

"AAAAOOO OCCUPIED!" a normally calm and quiet voice shouts followed by a "HE SAID SHUT-" by another. The waiter slams the door mid sentence and turns, red faced. Keeping that way as they awkwardly walk towards Hubert. "Will...will there be anything else...s-sir?" They're not giving eye contact as Hubert's smile turns into a frown.

"No, I'll handle it from here." He stands, chair slipping out of place loudly to make his presence known. Edelgard grabs his sleeve "Please don't make this worse." He chuckled, "I'm just going to invite them back to the table is all." He pulled his sleeve away and walked over slowly, making sure to savor the moment he's going to ruin.

His gloved hand approached the knob, slowly. Behind the door he could hear Linhardt's voice trembling. A cashmere smile grew, perfect. He grips the knob and turns it slowly, sliding the door open ever so gently, the sounds grew louder with every centimeter. His smile reaches his eyes as he gazes at what is presented to him.

A scholar atop a desk, his suit wrinkled from friction. Eyes shot open with pleasure, tongue out in the open like a common dog followed with whimpers only said animal can make. One hand clawing at the desk the other pulling their rear wider for their energetic companion. His hair is a mess and his face red hot with lust for what his companion has to offer.

Atop him lies said beast of a man, behind the desk going rough and fast. One hand on his precious scholars hips, their skin looking as if it may bruise from his firm grip, the other pulling the mans tie, holding him in place. He looked into Huberts eyes as if to dare him to stop it, like a predator to those outside their pack. Their suit still in tact as a button undoes itself in the motions. 

Neither seem to give in to the embarrassment of being caught, instead they seem to get more excited over it. Byleth rams even faster as Hubert watches and Linhardt can't help but beg for more to the point it becomes incoherent. 

Edelgard, now rushing over hearing the commotion from across the restaurant. She pushes a frozen Hubert aside and her eyes widen. "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?" Her voice louder than the twos moanings. Grabbing the attention of other customers not just for her voice but for being the Emperor as well, it was more than enough to have eyes on her already.

Customers start to get up and approach, but before they see the scene Edelgard asks that Hubert fix them up as she mutters how ridiculous this all is. Hubert nods and shuts the door as he enters to keep unwanted eyes from looking. Edelgard shoes off the other patrons as she hears complaints on the other side of the door.

Byleth regrettably pulls out, at Hubert's sudden threat to pull him out himself. Linhardt slips his tongue back in and loosens his grip and pulls up his pants in disappointment that he didn't even get to use it once to lick anything other than another tongue. His eyelids dropping to their signature look of annoyance as he buckled his belt and fixed his tie.

"We're adults, you don't have to baby us. If anything this will just give some interesting press and them more customers. I don't see the problem." Linhardt pouts as he sits up on the desk, Byleth who wasn't able to finish stood behind him. His "sword of the creator" having trouble getting back into his pants. Linhardt turns to him and teases with his pointer finger on its head, a quick whimper is heard from Byleth before helping him "sheathe" it. Byleth whispers a thank you as he places his forehead against Linhardts. Linhardt whispers a you're welcome in return as he turns his head to kiss Byleth on the lips.

Hubert watching the whole thing lets out a huff "You two have a lot of responsibilities and are a part of the Empire. Scandals like this hurt our reputation." Linhardt lets out a huff in return as he grabs Byleth's hand and gets off the desk. Byleth letting his thumb rub reassuringly over his husband's soft hand to calm him.

Hubert fixes up their suits a bit more to make them more presentable, since Sothis knows Byleth doesn't exactly have the best care for clothes and Linhardt is too lazy to fix it on his own. Linhardt rolls his eyes at the whole thing, and Byleth simply watches the door, curious if someone else will bust their way in. 

Hubert now standing before them recessing his handiwork, he notices a strange substance sitting on Byleth's fingers of his free hand and began to reach for it with a napkin he had stuffed in his pockets incase Edelgard ever caught a cold. But before he could reach it, Byleth had rose the hand and licked the substance off. Linhardt glancing over with shining eyes and blush at the action. Hubert though disgusted, nodded as at least the substance was gone.

Hubert lays a few knocks on the door and Edelgard opens it, her smile at the beginning of the dinner was replaced with a look of disappointment and disgust. "You two can't be doing that, you are high ranking officials in the Em-" Linhardt cut her off in annoyance "We know, Hubert already gave us the speech." Byleth puts his head down ashamed and apologizes for the both of them.

Edelgard nods in approval at the recognition of them admitting their faults and walks back to the table. The 3 following behind, Linhardt and Byleth still holding hands as Byleth lifts his head to give a cashmere smile to Linhardt, saying "you think they're jealous?" through his glance alone. Linhardt chuckles slightly at the childish thought and smiles in return, before quickly shifting back to a pout so Hubert wouldn't take notice.

The rest of the evening goes slow, Edelgard trying to start up a conversation about the Empires political movements, Linhardt yawning and huffing when the topic bores him. Byleth asking questions here and there to keep Edelgard from getting angry at Linhardt's lack of enthusiasm. That however didn't stop her from glaring at him when he laid his head on Byleth's shoulder to soon fall asleep, drool dripping down his chin onto Byleth's suit, the stoic man wrapping his arm around the Scholar with a smile. 

Hubert simply listened in, adding his 2 cents every few words as he watched Byleth's thumb continue to rub Linhardt's hand subconsciously. He also smiled at the slight discomfort he caught in Byleth's eyes every here and then, knowing he successfully came in right before release.

As the night comes to an end, they say their goodbyes. Linhardt still asleep as he's sat on their steed. The bumps of the horses movements soon wake him as they cross the lake that sits before their home. He's soon helped down by Byleth, as their horse returns to the little stable they had built for them. Byleth removes the saddle and lays out some food for it. 

As he finishes, he feels a tug at his sleeve. "You know...we never finished and I sort of missed dessert...so would it be ok if I had a midnight snack?" Linhardt said sleepily but bore a coy expression to give a hint. Byleth blinked twice before pulling the Scholar into a kiss and saying "Of course." Carrying his hungry husband they went back inside and had a  _ lovely cream filled dessert.  _

The next morning Linhardt and Byleth got an earful they'll never forget as it turns out their scandal did indeed go in the paper. The article is currently framed on their wall.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: This was literally just going to be a horny gag post on twitter but then I kept writing...and writing...and writing...and writing. Then POOF this abomination was born! Maybe I'll add the sucking scene one day but for now, enjoy what ya got.
> 
> Criticism is welcome, spelling errors, weird wording, not enough dong- you name it I'll find ways to improve it.


End file.
